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Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Thanking Methotrexate?

I started this past Sunday Thanking MTX rather than cursing it.  Each week I would struggle with taking my injection.  I would talk myself out of taking it at least a hundred times before I would break down and jab it into my thigh.  Why would something that is supposed to make me feel better be so dam hard to take?  Well ... short answer..  The side effects.  MTX stole a day a week out of my life .  I would sleep and feel like I had a bad case of the 24 hour flu every time.  Its an oxymoron...isn't it?  Its good for you, but it makes you so sick you don't want to take it.  I would come up with every excuse in the book.  I am to tired,  I am to busy, I don't feel well, I just don't want to..were the most common ones.

It occurred to me that I am incredibly lucky to have access to this medication.  I have great medical insurance.  I have a great pharmacy.  I have the money to pay for it.  I was being incredibly irresponsible and selfish.  I am ready to buck up!  I am ready to live up to and take advantage of the gifts that have been sitting in front of me from the first day I was diagnosed.  I am tired of feeling sorry for myself.  I can look at the day I am sick.. as a small investment in my future life ahead.  I choose to invest in myself.  I also know that I will have my weak moments.  I won't feel guilty for hating MTX, but I will choose to acknowledge my hatred and let it go...and choose my health instead.

It is possible to Thank the very things that try and bring you down.  You need to choose to invest in your own future.  Taking this medication is part of a long term investment in the Piscopo Corporation.  The stock is long term and will stay steady even in a long term health down turn.  I am going to keep forging ahead and taking full advantage of this old wise drug.  I will learn to live with it and learn from its wisdom.  I can learn to appreciate MTX.  We might even become great friends some day...  Who knows..

Will you choose to Thank MTX and invest in your own corporation?

You are always loved by me.